(Parody) ACLU announces lawsuit against the Scooby Doo Gang


[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 



In their continued crusade against cultural icons, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has filed a class-action lawsuit against the Scooby Doo Gang, also known as “Mystery Incorporated.” 

The ACLU claimed that the four hipsters and their talking Great Dane dog violated the civil rights of monsters, ghouls, and other masked figures by investigating their haunting without a warrant, as well as lawfully arresting them in traps. 

A spokesperson for the ACLU stated earlier today that the left-wing, anti-American lawyer haven is 

“No one should impede a person’s right to put on a monster costume and terrorize normal Americans, especially not four meddling kids and that dog,” an ACLU spokesman said at a press release in Hollywood. 

Warner Brothers, the studio that owns the rights to Scooby Doo, asked the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals to throw out this case because the Scooby Doo Gang are fictional characters.

“Scooby, Shaggy, Daphne, Velma and Fred are cartoon characters that have been around for over sixty years,” a studio spokesman for Warner Brothers told reporters outside the studio lot. “They have appeared countless times on television and exist in a fictional cartoon world.”

As is typical with previous rulings against President Trump and conservatives from the super radical left-wing appeals court, the 9th Circuit Court rejected this common sense argument from Warner Brothers. 

A Warner Brothers spokesman says the film studio will appeal the ruling to the Supreme Court and just ignore the 9th Circuit’s ruling. “Our reasoning for this is that the ACLU failed to identify which version of the Scooby Doo Gang they were attacking in the lawsuit,” the WB spokesman said. “Warner Brothers has rebooted Scooby Doo so many times, and we’re determined to keep doing it until more people play Scooby and Shaggy than there are men who’ve played James Bond.”

Warner Brothers announces that Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan will be the lead counsels for their defense team, reuniting the duo over twenty years after they saved the Looney Toons Universe against illegal aliens on earth in a basketball game in the hit ‘90s film, “Space Jam.”

The ACLU has yet to produce a single cartoon character to act as their lead counsel, but have expressed interest in hiring Flash the Sloth from the hit Disney film, “Zootopia.” 

“Flash is the kind of guy we want leading this case,” an ACLU executive said. “He will bring much-needed energy and quickness into it.” 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever (2024) Review

The movie starts by introducing us to the Herdmans, a group of poor kids who are the worst kids in town. Even the girls.   Told through the narration of the main protagonist, Beth Bradley, the Herdmans are bullies and juvenile delinquents who spend their time terrorizing the other kids and the townspeople.  Everyone in town hates them, especially the parishioners and busy-body mothers at the local Christian parish.  That changes as the film progresses and our main characters see the Herdmans in a new light as they become involved in the town’s local Christmas pageant.  Sadly, Grace Bradley is forced to take over the pageant after Mrs. Armstrong breaks her legs.  When the Herdmans join the Christmas pageant under the motivation of receiving free food and desserts by going to church, somewhere nobody expected the Herdmans to show their faces, every expects the worst to happen.  However, once the pageant comes around, the entire town has a newfound...
Read more

Movie Review: The 5th Wave as Anti-Military propaganda

This article was originally published on June 9, 2017. Normally a story that involves humans fighting seemingly invincible aliens warrants a good story. You'd also think the military would be there to protect Americans. But before long, it becomes clear to the protagonists in “The 5th Wave (2016)” that Americans should resist the military, that the soldiers are the real enemy to humanity. "The 5th Wave," based on the Rick Yancey novel of the same name, follows a long line of Hollywood's assaults on the honor and integers of the brave men and women who fight for their country. Unfortunately, most of Hollywood hasn't limited their attacks to five. The film centers around a young girl who sets out to find her brother after their father is killed in a massacre carried out by military forces. Right after the parents do the natural thing and resist being separated from their children forever. This is the director's way of telli...
Read more

Local Kansas City parish hosts annual Marian Conference

In “33 Days to Morning Glory,” Father Michael E. Gaitley talks about how Mother Mary wants people to come closer to her son, Jesus, through her. Now, Mother Mary calls us to enter a deeper relationship with her son through the Marian Conference IV of Greater Kansas City. The conference runs from June 22-23 at St. Thomas More Parish, located at 11822 Holmes Rd., Kansas City, MO.  It is the fourth annual Marian conference organized by the volunteers of the Marian Association.  In previous years, the conference was held at St. John Lalond in Blue Springs, MO; Our Lady of Lourdes in Raytown, MO; and St. Robert Bellarmine Church in Blue Springs, MO.   Registration for the conference is free.  Last year’s conference, hosted by St. Robert Bellermine Catholic Church in Blue Springs, MO, received over 400 people in attendance. Julie and Tom Cummings, Promotions Fund Raising Coordinators, expect over 700 people from Kansas a...
Read more