(Parody) PBS announces new cinematic universe


[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 


PBS is finally growing up. 

After decades of being known for kid-friendly or boring shows (sometimes both), the cable television network PBS became the latest company to announce a cinematic universe in order to copy the success of the MCU.

PBS made the announcement during a news interview on CBS. 

“We want to let people know we aren’t about kiddy shows, so we decided to make a live-action ‘dark and gritty’ movie franchise,” a PBS spokesman said. “This will allow children who grew up watching ‘Kratt’s Creatures,” “Zoom,” “Barney” and our other programs a chance to see modern versions of those characters.”

Despite having no principle photography filmed yet, PBS has already announced 20 live-action films in their lineup. Some of the movies listed include live-action films of “Dragon Tales,” “Arthur,” and “Sesame Street.” 

“The first movie will focus on the heroes from ‘Dragon Tales,’ Annie and Max, as they journey on their adventures,” a PBS spokesman said as he described the plot of their movie universe. “They discover parallel worlds that exist alongside the human world. First they find the dragon world, then they journey to another world where everyone is anthropomorphic animals,” he said, a direct reference to the world of “Arthur.” 

“Our heroes also discover that the animals on “Sesame Street” came to our universe from a monster world in order to indoctrinate humans for good or evil,” the PBS showrunner added. “Seriously, who doesn’t want to see Big Bird firing two machine guns?”

A working poster for the PBS movie franchise showed Bill Nye’s head in a glass jar attached to a robot body next to Annie and Max, suggesting that the atheist “scientist” will aid the kids on their journey. 

PBS hopes their new cinematic universe will help them rebrand their image. 

At publishing time, the PBS Cinematic Universe has been put indefinitely into development hell after receiving severe backlash from fans who hate this “dark and gritty” reimagining of their favorite childhood characters. 

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