(Parody) Congressional Democrats declare any interaction with foreign leaders as impeachable offense


[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 


The first public hearing in the impeachment inquiry against President Donald Trump began yesterday.

George Kent, Deputy Assistant Secretary of State and Former U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine William Taylor, began their testimony by stating hearsay testimony they heard about Trump’s phone call with the President of Ukraine.

“Susie told Barney, who told Jack, who told Oliver, who told his secretary, who told her friend, who told me President Trump definitely was going to withhold aid to Ukraine,” Kent said to the House Intelligence Committee members.

Republicans pointed out that none of those people existed and that Kent’s testimony is nothing but hearsay since he didn’t have firsthand knowledge of Trump’s call.

Taylor told Republicans about how he really feels about Trump.

“President Trump has harmed our standing with other countries,” Taylor said. “Most foreign leaders expect us to give them money no matter what corruption or civil rights abuses they have, but Trump wants to make sure that countries like Ukraine aren’t corrupt.

“President Trump has no business making U.S. foreign policy,” Taylor added.

Republican Rep. Jim Jordan shot back at Taylor, stating that the President is the one who makes U.S. foreign policy.

“President Trump was elected by the American people to decide U.S. policy at home and abroad,” Jordan said. “He’s the leader of this country, not unelected bureaucrats in bed with the Deep State.”

House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff (D-CA) agreed with Taylor.

“Yes, yes, any interaction President Trump has with foreign leaders is an impeachable offense,” Schiff said. “We will impeach Trump for every conversation he’s ever had with foreign leaders, and we will use whatever testimony we deem necessary to impeach Trump — except for the whistleblower who started this inquiry in the first place, of course.”

Schiff denied Republican motions to make the so-called whistleblower publically testify in the impeachment hearing. He then evaded accusations that he and his staff met with the whistleblower before that person filed the complaint agaisnt Trump.

“I plead the Fifth,” Schiff said, invoking his Fifth Amendment rights against self-incrimination.

At the end of the hearing, the Democrats voted along party lines to allow hearsay as evidence against President Trump.

No Republican voted to accept hearsay as concrete evidence for impeachment.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever (2024) Review

The movie starts by introducing us to the Herdmans, a group of poor kids who are the worst kids in town. Even the girls.   Told through the narration of the main protagonist, Beth Bradley, the Herdmans are bullies and juvenile delinquents who spend their time terrorizing the other kids and the townspeople.  Everyone in town hates them, especially the parishioners and busy-body mothers at the local Christian parish.  That changes as the film progresses and our main characters see the Herdmans in a new light as they become involved in the town’s local Christmas pageant.  Sadly, Grace Bradley is forced to take over the pageant after Mrs. Armstrong breaks her legs.  When the Herdmans join the Christmas pageant under the motivation of receiving free food and desserts by going to church, somewhere nobody expected the Herdmans to show their faces, every expects the worst to happen.  However, once the pageant comes around, the entire town has a newfound...
Read more

Movie Review: The 5th Wave as Anti-Military propaganda

This article was originally published on June 9, 2017. Normally a story that involves humans fighting seemingly invincible aliens warrants a good story. You'd also think the military would be there to protect Americans. But before long, it becomes clear to the protagonists in “The 5th Wave (2016)” that Americans should resist the military, that the soldiers are the real enemy to humanity. "The 5th Wave," based on the Rick Yancey novel of the same name, follows a long line of Hollywood's assaults on the honor and integers of the brave men and women who fight for their country. Unfortunately, most of Hollywood hasn't limited their attacks to five. The film centers around a young girl who sets out to find her brother after their father is killed in a massacre carried out by military forces. Right after the parents do the natural thing and resist being separated from their children forever. This is the director's way of telli...
Read more

Local Kansas City parish hosts annual Marian Conference

In “33 Days to Morning Glory,” Father Michael E. Gaitley talks about how Mother Mary wants people to come closer to her son, Jesus, through her. Now, Mother Mary calls us to enter a deeper relationship with her son through the Marian Conference IV of Greater Kansas City. The conference runs from June 22-23 at St. Thomas More Parish, located at 11822 Holmes Rd., Kansas City, MO.  It is the fourth annual Marian conference organized by the volunteers of the Marian Association.  In previous years, the conference was held at St. John Lalond in Blue Springs, MO; Our Lady of Lourdes in Raytown, MO; and St. Robert Bellarmine Church in Blue Springs, MO.   Registration for the conference is free.  Last year’s conference, hosted by St. Robert Bellermine Catholic Church in Blue Springs, MO, received over 400 people in attendance. Julie and Tom Cummings, Promotions Fund Raising Coordinators, expect over 700 people from Kansas a...
Read more