(Parody) Nicolas Cage announces 2020 Presidential Campaign as an Independent
[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story.
While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for
comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]
Actor Nicolas Cage enters the 2020 Presidential Election. He becomes the first Independent candidate to announce his candidacy.
“I’ve already done a lot of crazy stuff throughout my life and acting career,” Cage said at a press conference outside his Malibu home, attended by his agent and several tourists off the street in double-decker buses. “From agreeing to do The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, to having CGI bees poured on my head in The Wicker Man, to trying out every different hairstyle imaginable in my films. I figured I might as well run for President.”
Members of the Democrat Party and the left-wing liberal media were immediately angry with Cage’s candidacy.
“How dare Nicolas Cage do this,” Socialist dimwit Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said before ranting against Cage’s “white male privilege.”
“If Cage runs as an independent, he’s going to guarantee Trump gets re-elected in 2020,” Democrat hopeful Kamala Harris said at a local anti-Catholic rally pretending to be a town hall meeting for Harris.
Cage dismissed Democrats’ attacks on him for running.
“Hey, I agreed to do The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. I don’t care what the Democrats and or anyone else thinks,” Cage said. “They’re clearly afraid because I’m too crazy for them to deal with.”
Cage then said that if he loses the election and all his money (again), he will then star in the highly-sought (and long expected) National Treasure 3 film.
He is expected to not get enough votes to make a difference for either of the two major political parties.
Actor Nicolas Cage enters the 2020 Presidential Election. He becomes the first Independent candidate to announce his candidacy.
“I’ve already done a lot of crazy stuff throughout my life and acting career,” Cage said at a press conference outside his Malibu home, attended by his agent and several tourists off the street in double-decker buses. “From agreeing to do The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, to having CGI bees poured on my head in The Wicker Man, to trying out every different hairstyle imaginable in my films. I figured I might as well run for President.”
Members of the Democrat Party and the left-wing liberal media were immediately angry with Cage’s candidacy.
“How dare Nicolas Cage do this,” Socialist dimwit Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said before ranting against Cage’s “white male privilege.”
“If Cage runs as an independent, he’s going to guarantee Trump gets re-elected in 2020,” Democrat hopeful Kamala Harris said at a local anti-Catholic rally pretending to be a town hall meeting for Harris.
Cage dismissed Democrats’ attacks on him for running.
“Hey, I agreed to do The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. I don’t care what the Democrats and or anyone else thinks,” Cage said. “They’re clearly afraid because I’m too crazy for them to deal with.”
Cage then said that if he loses the election and all his money (again), he will then star in the highly-sought (and long expected) National Treasure 3 film.
He is expected to not get enough votes to make a difference for either of the two major political parties.
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