(Parody) “Citizen Kane” remake features Michael Bloomberg-like character
[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]
Hollywood has lost all originality.
Every year, sequels and remakes of original films are hitting theaters.
Now, “Citizen Kane” is getting the remake treatment.
The original 1941 Orson Welles’ film featured a character similar in character and biography to newspaper mogul William Randolph Herst.
Herst, seeing the similarities between himself and Welles’ title character, Charles Foster Kane, both positive and negative, used his power and influence to undermine “Citizen Kane’s” performance at the box office and the Academy Awards.
“Citizen Bomberg” is a modern day retelling of Welles’ original film. It features a news media mogul modeled after real-life billionaire and news mogul Michael Bloomberg.
In the film, Bomberg runs for mayor of New York City, then later runs for President. He enacts policies to fan the flames of racism between cops and minorities, destroys his city’s economy and job growth, tells female employees to abort their babies in order to advance their careers or else they’ll be fired and instructs his news organization to never print negative press coverage of him or other members of his progressive-liberal party.
He also skips early states in the primary elections because he doesn’t care about their citizens.
Bloomberg isn’t taking kindly to filmmakers making fun of him. He instructed his Bloomberg News film critics to bash the film and threaten every movie theater chain to not show the film.
At publishing time, Bloomberg himself told the Academy of Motion Pictures to not give “Citizen Bomberg” any Oscar wins.
Hollywood has lost all originality.
Every year, sequels and remakes of original films are hitting theaters.
Now, “Citizen Kane” is getting the remake treatment.
The original 1941 Orson Welles’ film featured a character similar in character and biography to newspaper mogul William Randolph Herst.
Herst, seeing the similarities between himself and Welles’ title character, Charles Foster Kane, both positive and negative, used his power and influence to undermine “Citizen Kane’s” performance at the box office and the Academy Awards.
“Citizen Bomberg” is a modern day retelling of Welles’ original film. It features a news media mogul modeled after real-life billionaire and news mogul Michael Bloomberg.
In the film, Bomberg runs for mayor of New York City, then later runs for President. He enacts policies to fan the flames of racism between cops and minorities, destroys his city’s economy and job growth, tells female employees to abort their babies in order to advance their careers or else they’ll be fired and instructs his news organization to never print negative press coverage of him or other members of his progressive-liberal party.
He also skips early states in the primary elections because he doesn’t care about their citizens.
Bloomberg isn’t taking kindly to filmmakers making fun of him. He instructed his Bloomberg News film critics to bash the film and threaten every movie theater chain to not show the film.
At publishing time, Bloomberg himself told the Academy of Motion Pictures to not give “Citizen Bomberg” any Oscar wins.
“Unless it’s an award for Best Original Screenplay or something because no one cares about writing good films, short films, or videos anymore,” Bloomberg told the Academy of Motion Pictures and Arts. “Not anyone I know that is.”
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