(Parody) Netflix introduces new setting to skip content


[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 


After losing hundreds of thousands of subscribers since starting their boycott war against Georgia over that state’s “Heartbeat Bill,” Netflix has added new features in an effort to appeal to audiences. 

The new “Skip Content” setting allows subscribers to skip unwanted or unwelcome content in their movies and TV series.

“We basically took the setting made popular by the ‘ClearPlay’ DVD player and ‘VidAngel’ and took it one step further,” a Netflix spokesman said at a company press conference. “Now our subscribers can skip content they deem offensive so that they can enjoy their entertainment.”

In addition to sexual content, violence, gore, and explicit language, Netflix also introduced other categories that audiences can skip. One of those things is anti-Trump and anti-conservative language and themes.

“In the age of Trump, we saw the need to add this setting so that both liberals and conservatives can ignore political themes in shows and movies and just enjoy movies as entertainment, like in the good old days,” the Netflix spokesman continued, noting however that Netflix as a company leans left. “We know half our audience is conservative, so we didn’t have a choice in the matter.

“You don’t like it when a character talks trash against conservatives and men, well now you can skip it,” the spokeman continued. “And if you don’t like it when producers take an established character you have come to like and suddenly make him gay, you can skip scenes involving that portrayal.

“And just to prove we aren’t bigots, you can also skip scenes involving straight characters as well,” he added.

Netflix also said the new feature allows users to skip scenes and content that is anti-men or treats men as inferior beings or arrogant monsters. “This category is to help combat the attacks from the liberal left against traditional masculinity,” Netflix released in a statement on Facebook and Twitter. 

The CW, ABC, CBS and NBCUniversal announced they are suing Netflix for creating this new skip setting because the networks claim their entire shows revolve around anti-conservative and anti-men themes. 

“If Netflix continues to allow users to mark ‘skip’ on those themes, they won’t be able to watch a single episode of our network shows,” an attorney for NBC stated at a press conference outside the Ninth Circuit of Appeals Court. 

It is highly expected that the liberal Ninth Circuit of Appeals Court will force Netflix to not take their declaration into effect, preventing the online-streaming service from adding the much needed “Skip Content” setting. 

The case is expected to get bogged down in the courts and then go all the way to the Supreme Court, where Netflix hopes they’ll get a fair shake. 

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