(Parody) President Trump offers to buy Mexico, ending immigration debate


[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 


After news leaked about President Donald Trump’s alleged proposal to buy Greenland, other reports show that Trump “intended” to buy Mexico. 

In the supposed “deal,” President Trump said that the United States would receive the entire territory of Mexico as compensation for Mexico’s history of letting millions of illegal immigrants and migrant caravans cross into the U.S. illegally for over forty years.

(The time period of illegal immigration from Mexico took place long before Trump was in office.)  

“It’s a great real estate deal,” Trump said to reporters outside the White House. “These people cross our border illegally because they want to live here, well guess what? We buy Mexico and they’re already here. They can stay where they are and not risk dying from traveling here.” 

Trump supposedly released details of the plan to leaders in his administration. The main condition is that the U.S. won’t pay a single dollar to Mexico for the purchase of their country. Instead, the cost of illegal immigrants on American taxpayer dollars will cover the cost of the “Mexican Purchase.” 

Mexico also would no longer exist as a country, the alleged documents show. 

“It’s actually very generous on our part,” Trump said. “We could have stationed troops along the Southern Border indefinitely, put up a wall or invade Mexico — which would be a great victory for America.”

As usual, Democrats condemned the president’s actions. 

At publishing time, Trump also drafted plans to annex Guatemala, El Salvador and Honduras in order to end the illegal immigration crisis on the U.S. Southern Border. 

“We’ll have more territory than Russia and China at this rate,” Trump said enthusiastically. 

Trump later tweeted: “The millions and billions of dollars that these countries have cost us as a result of illegal immigration is more than enough price to buy their entire countries. No more U.S. dollars to Central America!”


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