(Parody) Mike Ditka returns to coach the Chicago Bears


[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 


Ditka is back!

After losing 10-3 at home to the Packers on Thursday night, the Chicago Bears have hired their legendary former head coach Mike Ditka to help save their season.

“We are pleased to welcome back Mike Ditka to the Chicago Bears,” Bears Head Coach Mike Nagy said at a press conference Saturday. “I’m glad I have the chance to coach Mitch Trubisky and this Bears team with a legend.”

Ditka’s official title is Special Assistant Head Coach.

Several officials in the Bears organization decided to bring back Ditka after re-watching the comedy film “Kicking and Screaming (2005).”

“Ditka has a lot to offer to our 2019 team,” a Chicago Bears representative said. “He’ll make the players run around during practice, wash his car, take out his trash and steal their candy bars.”

“These Bears are soft,” Ditka said. “I’m gonna whip them into shape.”

At publishing time, Ditka slapped a $10,000 fine on every Bears player.




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