(Parody) Adam Schiff and Democrats on impeachment: “It’s all about the greater good.”


[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 

[Spoiler alert: This article contains references to the film, “Hot Fuzz.”]


Congressman Adam Schiff (D-CA) and Congressional Democrats conducted their annual meeting late last night.

The topic: discuss ongoing criticism against their efforts to impeach President Donald Trump.

A Democratic staffer allegedly leaked the transcript contents of that meeting to multiple media outlets and personalities. He or she remains anonymous.

This news comes as public impeachment inquiry hearings against President Trump began today.

The Democrat lawmakers, dressed in black hoods, were adamant that they are completely justified in conducting the impeachment inquiry against Trump.

“We don’t need the whistleblower anymore,” Schiff said. “We got the transcripts. We got the witnesses we hand-picked. We got control of the impeachment process. If we refuse to produce the whistleblower who started this whole thing, it’s all for the greater good.”

“The greater good,” the other Democrats said all together.

“Now then, time to decide what to do about Jim Jordan and the Republicans,” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) said. “They’re getting too close. They’re going to say we’re conducting a witch hunt because we won’t let them call witnesses without our approval or give President Trump due process under the law.”

“So what if we don’t allow the Republicans on the Intelligence Committee to call their own witnesses or give Trump the presumption of innocence?” Schiff said. “It’s not about fairness, facts or the truth. It’s all about the greater good.”

“The greater good,” the other Democrats said all together.

“Then we all agree that we will conduct these impeachment hearings the way we see fit no matter what Republicans and Trump say to discredit us,” Schiff said.

The other Democrats nodded in agreement.

“And that we will continue to undermine the American people and the 2016 Election and Trump’s victory?” Schiff said.

Again, the Democrats agree with Schiff.

“After all, it’s for the greater good,” Schiff said.

“The greater good,” the other Democrats said all together.

“And once we succeed, nothing will stand in our way of ruling this country,” Schiff said, concluding the meeting.

At publishing time, the Democratic staffer who allegedly leaked the meeting’s transcripts had died in an “accident.”


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