(Parody) Dems furious Trump supporter Jim Jordan is on the Intelligence Committee


[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 


Ohio Representative Jim Jordan, Republican, was appointed to the House Intelligence Committee on a temporary basis.

Jordan, a ranking Republican member of the House Oversight Committee and an avid Trump supporter, was assigned by Congressional Republican leadership to the House Intelligence Committee so that he can partake in questioning in the impeachment inquiry against President Donald Trump.

“Nancy Pelosi, Adam Schiff and the Democrats have been conducting closed door sessions and bringing in witnesses they know will turn against President Trump,” Jordan told reporters. “They’ve been against Trump ever since he won the 2016 Election. It’s time the Republican Party brings this partisan witch hunt out into the open.”

The House Intelligence Committee, manned by the Democrat majority in Congress, is in charge of the impeachment inquiry against President Trump.

The House will start open impeachment hearings next week — after weeks of behind closed-door testimony, leaking and a whistleblower that is allegedly a Democrat in the Intelligence Community (CIA, FBI, DOJ) who hates President Trump.

Democrats were angry that a well-known Trump supporters like Jordan is now one of the Republicans representing conservatives during the impeachment inquiry.

“Jim Jordan’s appointment is nothing short of Republicans trying to undermine our democratic process,” one Democrat aide said. “It’s clear Trump is trying to corrupt our policies. Only people who were against Trump since day one should be allowed on the committee.”

Democrat staffers agreed that Jordan’s appointment undermines Rep. Adam Schiff’s (D-CA) ability to bring in witnesses who will be able provide testimony that Trump committed some wrongdoing in his call to the President of Ukraine — without risk of having their testimony undermined by questions from Republicans and “facts.”

“Jordan is going to tear apart any argument we make against Trump,” one Democrat staffer said. “He’ll make any witness Democrats bring up look just plain dumb.”

“It’s better to have no Republicans on the committee so that we can gather all the facts in this impeachment inquiry behind closed doors,” another Democrat staffer said. “Why can’t Republicans just leave us alone so that we can remove Trump from office?”

At publishing time, Schiff has created a staff of “thought police” to determine if Jordan asks witnesses tough questions that may incriminate them as partisan hacks who hate Donald Trump and want him removed from office. 

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