(Parody) J.K. Rowling surprised people hate Mr. Potter


[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 


It’s time for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Colder weather, families traveling and coming together.

And everyone hates Mr. Potter.

“Harry Potter” author J.K. Rowling was shocked and disgusted that people don’t like her main character.

“How dare people hate Harry Potter?” Rowling told CNN. “They’re all racists, misogynists, fascists and deplorables. Bloody Americans.”

What Rowling didn’t understand is that people weren’t talking about Harry Potter, but Henry Potter, the antagonist of the film, “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

In “It’s a Wonderful Life,” Mr. Potter is a mean-spirited old man who hates everyone “who has something he can’t have.”

Potter works constantly to destroy small businesses, especially the Bailey Building & Loan Company owned by George Bailey (played by James Stewart), in his quest to control Bedford Falls.

“Only J.K. Rowling could find something to like about Mr. Potter,” a father of three said. “He’s am evil man who cares only about himself.”

“Now every time I go to Barnes & Noble and I say that I hate Potter, I can tell people I’m talking about Mr. Potter from the classic Christmas film,” one male customer said. “I can’t only away with that in November and December.”

Instead of apologizing and admitting her mistake, Rowling doubled down and got angry with her critics.

“Sexists! I’m being oppressed because I’m a woman!” Rowling said, yelling. “Everyone who hates Mr. Potter actually hates ‘Harry Potter.’”

Democrats and feminists went to Rowling’s defense, praising her “courage” in facing “toxic masculinity.”

President Donald Trump condemned Rowling on his Twitter page.

“J.K. Rowling is the worst person ever!” Trump said. “She’s a snotty old Brit who hates Americans. Hey, J.K., your country lost two wars to the greatest nation on Earth and we had to bail you out of two more! Show some appreciation and human decency.”

“Also, Rowling is a terrible writer,” Trump added. “She stole all of her characters, story and plot elements from George Lucas and J.R.R. Tolkien.”

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