(Parody) Star Wars leaks reveal Baby Yoda appearance in “Rise of Skywalker”


[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 


We are now four days away from “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker.”

This film closes out the Disney Trilogy of Star Wars films that take place thirty years after the events of the Star Wars Original Trilogy.

Spoilers for the new film have been leaked on the internet, which (if true) give away details about the film’s plot and ending.

One leak in particular has gained popularity in recent days: that Baby Yoda comes in and saves the day.

“Baby Yoda” is the nickname for a character in the new “Mandalorian” TV series streaming on Disney+, who looks very much like Yoda.

The leaks conclude that Baby Yoda appears in the film’s climax and uses the Force to toss Darth Sidious around like a rag doll, saving the good guys.

“Yes, it was always the plan to have Baby Yoda save everyone,” Director J.J. Abrams told reporters. “I mean it. Ever since ‘The Force Awakens’ we knew Baby Yoda was the main hero of this trilogy.”

Abrams’ composure started cracking, potentially revealing that Disney and LucasFilm has had no idea how to run Star Wars without George Lucas.

“Hey, don’t give me that look,” Abrams said. “We didn’t include Baby Yoda in the marketing for ‘The Mandalorian,’ so we did the same thing for my trilogy. It’s not like we hate the fans and didn’t care about honoring the Star Wars story.”

Disney and LucasFilm have faced controversy after “The Last Jedi” and calling Star Wars fans sexists and bigots if they didn’t like “The Last Jedi” and how Disney has treated beloved Star Wars characters.

“No, I mean it! We actually have had a plan to bring Palpatine back and use Baby Yoda!” Abrams said, trying to convince everyone that he’s a smart filmmaker. “And it’s alright that Rey is a ‘Mary Sue.’ People love ‘woke’ Star Wars! They really do!”

Two men in white nurses’ uniforms suddenly grabbed Abrams, put him in a straight-jacket and tossed him into the back of a white van.

Audiences and fans have been trying to get Abrams admitted to an insane asylum ever since the series finale of Lost.

Abrams’ treatment of Star Wars and its fans were the last straw for them.

At publishing time, Star Wars fans turned their attention to “Man-baby” Rian Johnson and “Crazy” Kathleen Kennedy.



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