(Parody) President Trump presents his beatitudes at Wisconsin rally


[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 


President Donald Trump held a “Keep America Great” rally in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, on Tuesday, Jan. 14, as part of his 2020 Presidential Re-Election campaign.

At the rally, Trump presented his “beatitudes” – The Americans he has helped since taking office after winning the 2016 Presidential Election.

The Trump Beatitudes are as follows:


“Blessed are the poor and middle class,

For they receive tax breaks and better job opportunities under my presidency.

“Blessed are the American soldiers,

For they won’t be sent to fight endless wars. 

“Blessed are those in MAGA hats,

For they shall reveal the Left’s intolerance.

“Blessed are the deplorables,

For they denied Crooked Hillary the White House in 2016.

“Blessed are they who are persecuted for supporting me,

For theirs is the great country of the United States.

“Blessed are the young conservative men and women,

For they shall inherit America and a strong economy.

“Rejoice and be glad, my fellow Americans,

For you will have four more years of winning.”


President Trump received a standing ovation and cheers from the crowd after concluding his speech.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever (2024) Review

The movie starts by introducing us to the Herdmans, a group of poor kids who are the worst kids in town. Even the girls.   Told through the narration of the main protagonist, Beth Bradley, the Herdmans are bullies and juvenile delinquents who spend their time terrorizing the other kids and the townspeople.  Everyone in town hates them, especially the parishioners and busy-body mothers at the local Christian parish.  That changes as the film progresses and our main characters see the Herdmans in a new light as they become involved in the town’s local Christmas pageant.  Sadly, Grace Bradley is forced to take over the pageant after Mrs. Armstrong breaks her legs.  When the Herdmans join the Christmas pageant under the motivation of receiving free food and desserts by going to church, somewhere nobody expected the Herdmans to show their faces, every expects the worst to happen.  However, once the pageant comes around, the entire town has a newfound...
Read more

Movie Review: The 5th Wave as Anti-Military propaganda

This article was originally published on June 9, 2017. Normally a story that involves humans fighting seemingly invincible aliens warrants a good story. You'd also think the military would be there to protect Americans. But before long, it becomes clear to the protagonists in “The 5th Wave (2016)” that Americans should resist the military, that the soldiers are the real enemy to humanity. "The 5th Wave," based on the Rick Yancey novel of the same name, follows a long line of Hollywood's assaults on the honor and integers of the brave men and women who fight for their country. Unfortunately, most of Hollywood hasn't limited their attacks to five. The film centers around a young girl who sets out to find her brother after their father is killed in a massacre carried out by military forces. Right after the parents do the natural thing and resist being separated from their children forever. This is the director's way of telli...
Read more

Local Kansas City parish hosts annual Marian Conference

In “33 Days to Morning Glory,” Father Michael E. Gaitley talks about how Mother Mary wants people to come closer to her son, Jesus, through her. Now, Mother Mary calls us to enter a deeper relationship with her son through the Marian Conference IV of Greater Kansas City. The conference runs from June 22-23 at St. Thomas More Parish, located at 11822 Holmes Rd., Kansas City, MO.  It is the fourth annual Marian conference organized by the volunteers of the Marian Association.  In previous years, the conference was held at St. John Lalond in Blue Springs, MO; Our Lady of Lourdes in Raytown, MO; and St. Robert Bellarmine Church in Blue Springs, MO.   Registration for the conference is free.  Last year’s conference, hosted by St. Robert Bellermine Catholic Church in Blue Springs, MO, received over 400 people in attendance. Julie and Tom Cummings, Promotions Fund Raising Coordinators, expect over 700 people from Kansas a...
Read more