(Parody) George of the Jungle sued by radical environmentalists for hitting trees
[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]
Ape Mountain, Africa — George of the Jungle is hit with a lawsuit.
The King of the Jungle was attacked by radical environmentalists who blame George for hurting the trees that he keeps running into — leaving an imprint of his body (with outstretched arms and legs) on the trees’ trunks.
“George is a tree killer,” environmentalist Dean Underside told reporters. “He is obviously employed by a big logging corporation to slam into trees so that they’re deemed not safe, leaving them open for cutting down.”
George, a king of an African jungle and the title character in the “George of the Jungle” movies, can’t seem to catch a break when it comes to hitting trees, despite his best efforts.
“George don’t mean to hurt trees and leave his likeness on them,” George told reporters outside an American courthouse in the United States, where the civil suit is taking place. “George just swinging on vines and end up hurting his head and body. Hitting trees is no fun for George.”
George addresses himself in the third person.
“George too busy saving lovely Ursula and hanging out with brother Ape,” George added, deferring to his love interest and his gorilla brother, an ape named Ape.
Environmentalists and global warming fear-mongers criticized George for his response.
“How dare you?” Swedish teen Greta Thunberg said in a tweet directed at George as she sailed on her diesel-fueled yacht to protest carbon emissions (including diesel engines). “You have destroyed my dreams and my childhood.”
George defended himself against Thunberg’s criticism.
“George can care less what dumb little Swedish girl thinks,” George said. “She’s got less education than George does and that’s saying something.”
George then grabbed onto a vine, gave his iconic call and immediately hit another tree.
Ape Mountain, Africa — George of the Jungle is hit with a lawsuit.
The King of the Jungle was attacked by radical environmentalists who blame George for hurting the trees that he keeps running into — leaving an imprint of his body (with outstretched arms and legs) on the trees’ trunks.
“George is a tree killer,” environmentalist Dean Underside told reporters. “He is obviously employed by a big logging corporation to slam into trees so that they’re deemed not safe, leaving them open for cutting down.”
George, a king of an African jungle and the title character in the “George of the Jungle” movies, can’t seem to catch a break when it comes to hitting trees, despite his best efforts.
“George don’t mean to hurt trees and leave his likeness on them,” George told reporters outside an American courthouse in the United States, where the civil suit is taking place. “George just swinging on vines and end up hurting his head and body. Hitting trees is no fun for George.”
George addresses himself in the third person.
“George too busy saving lovely Ursula and hanging out with brother Ape,” George added, deferring to his love interest and his gorilla brother, an ape named Ape.
Environmentalists and global warming fear-mongers criticized George for his response.
“How dare you?” Swedish teen Greta Thunberg said in a tweet directed at George as she sailed on her diesel-fueled yacht to protest carbon emissions (including diesel engines). “You have destroyed my dreams and my childhood.”
George defended himself against Thunberg’s criticism.
“George can care less what dumb little Swedish girl thinks,” George said. “She’s got less education than George does and that’s saying something.”
George then grabbed onto a vine, gave his iconic call and immediately hit another tree.
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