(Parody) Top Democrats believe a rogue general is attacking San Francisco

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 


A terrorist threat was made against San Francisco.

A video has been circulating on YouTube and social media platforms that Democrats claim is credible evidence of President Trump inspiring violence against liberal cities.

In the video, an American general, identifying himself as Marine Brigadier General Francis X. Hummel, says he has lethal “VX Gas” weapons aimed at San Francisco and that he will launch them if his demands are not met.

“There’s a crazed military general threatening to launch chemical weapons on San Francisco, my city,” Pelosi told reporters on Capitol Hill. “Clearly, President Trump is responsible for this.”

Pelosi then showed video of Hummel telling FBI and U.S. Military leaders that if they don’t give him millions of dollars, he will launch chemical weapons on Downtown San Francisco.

“I mean, this is obviously an alt-right white supremacist and a Trump supporter,” Rep. Adam Schiff (D-CA) told CNN. “This madman has taken over Alcatraz Island and is using it to build rocket launchers against one of the most liberal cities in the country.” 

What Pelosi and Schiff didn’t realize is that the video was actually a scene from Director Michael Bay’s 1996 film, “The Rock” – which came out 20 years before Trump ran for office in the 2016 Presidential Election as a Republican.

In the film, a group of terrorists (revealed to be ex-Marine special forces) take over Alcatraz Island and threaten to launch chemical weapons on the Bay Area.

Gen. Hummel was actor Ed Harris’ character in the film. (His character is motivated to give the money to the families of Marines who died under his command.)

Several cast and crew members of “The Rock” have confirmed that the footage in the video is from the film, including Michael Bay himself, producer Jerry Bruckheimer and actors Nicolas Cage and Sean Connery (who started in the movie alongside Harris).

“This movie has nothing to do with Trump,” Bay said, referring to “The Rock.” “I just wanted to make an action film the right way: with hundreds of explosions and no character development. Oh my gosh, did you see all those fight scenes? Awesome!”

President Trump condemned Pelosi and the Democrats for attacking him.

“Biggest goof of the year from ‘Heresy’ Nancy Pelosi and ‘Shifty’ Adam Schiff,” Trump said outside the White House after returning from his “Keep America Great” rally in Nevada on Friday. “She can’t separate movies from real life.”

At publishing time, Democrats on the House Judiciary Committee drafted Articles of Impeachment against President Trump because “The Rock” exists in the first place.

“Trump is responsible for Michael Bay’s directorial career. Period,” House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerry Nadler (D-NY) said. “They colluded to make this entire mess possible. Doesn’t matter if ‘The Rock’ came out twenty years before Trump became President.”

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