(Parody) House falls on Kansas Governor Laura Kelly, Kansans rejoice by singing “Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead”
[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]
Kansas Democratic Governor Laura Kelly is dead!
A farmhouse carrying poor little Dorothy accidentally fell on top of Kelly outside the Governor’s Mansion in Topeka, Kansas.
Kelly, a Democrat with strong high taxes, anti-life and pro-Planned Parenthood beliefs, had been terrorizing ordinary Kansans and unborn babies since her election during the 2018 Midterm Elections. Her reign of terror culminated with the staunchly far-left Kansas Supreme Court ruling that there was a “constitutional right” to abortion in the Kansas Constitution.
(It is unclear if the Kansas Supreme Court follows the Lecompton Constitution, which was one written by pro-slavery forces in the 1850s, as the official State Constitution of Kansas.)
Kelly’s policies and the decision made by her cronies on the Kansas Supreme Court angered many Kansas residents and pro-lifers.
There was plenty of rejoicing in the streets of Topeka when news of Kelly’s demise reached the news and social media.
People could be heard singing immediately after they heard of Kelly’s death, chanting the famous song “Ding dong, the Witch is Dead” from the hit movie, “The Wizard of Oz.”
“Ding dong, the witch is dead! The wicked witch! The wicked witch! Ding dong, the wicked witch is dead!” The people sang.
“Let the joyous news be spread, the wicked old witch at last is dead!” someone in the crowd shouted, receiving cheers in response.
City employees demanded that Kelly’s death be verified “legally,” just to be sure if the Democrat Governor of Kansas was “morally,” “ethically,” “spiritually,” “physically,” “positively,” “absolutely,” “undeniably” and “reliably” dead.
A coroner called to the scene examined Kelly’s body and declared that Kelly was in fact not only “merely” dead, but “really most sincerely” dead.
Kansas Lieutenant Governor Lynn Rogers, also a Democrat and anti-lifer, took over Kelly’s spot.
Kansans and conservatives were undeterred though, determined to remove the Democrat governor from office in the 2022 Midterm Elections (when the next Kansas Gubernational Race takes place) and replace her with a GOP conservative who actually cares about Kansas citizens.
Unless someone throws a bucket of water on Rogers, of course, which is perfectly fine with the people of Kansas.
At publishing time, a tornado destroyed the Kansas Supreme Court Building and killed all the left-wing liberal Justices inside, leaving the surrounding buildings and people alone.
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