(Parody) Joe Biden: “When I’m President, I’ll abolish the Men in Black”

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 

Joe Biden has committed another gaffe.

Biden, who once again became the Democrat frontrunner on Super Tuesday after all the so-called less radical (aka “moderate”) Democrats left the race, tried to capitalize on his growing lead over Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders.

Hoping to outdo Bernie Sanders’ promise to abolish ICE, Biden declared he’s going after another government organization that specializes in arresting and deporting criminal aliens.

“When I’m President, I will abolish the Men in Black on my first day in office,” Biden told a crowd of a handful of supporters.

The Men in Black, “MiB” for short, is a fictional government organization that monitors and polices extraterrestrial (alien) activity on Earth. They are featured in the film franchise of the same name led by Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones.

Biden aides quickly tried to take the microphone away from Biden, saying such things as “Are you talking about the organization in those Will Smith movies” and “Shut up, Joe! The Men in Black aren’t real.”

“I don’t care. We accept truth over facts,” Biden said, rambling another gaffe again. “And the truth is that we can’t have an organization going around arresting non-citizens of Planet Earth and deporting them off-world.”

Two men in black suits and ties and wearing sunglasses approached Biden on the podium and shone a bright light in his eyes with a small metal device from their suit pockets.

To the two men’s surprise and shock, Biden kept rambling on about how he’s gonna beat President Donald Trump and abolish MiB, having already had a mind wiped of any real memory, original thought or a personality.

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