(Parody) “Party of Diversity” chooses three old white guys and a fake Indian as Presidential candidates

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 

And then there were four.

Democrat presidential candidates make their final pitch to voters as Super Tuesday gets underway.

What was once a vast field of 564 candidates is now down to four: Socialist Bernie Sanders, gaffe-prone Joe Biden, elitist Mike Bloomberg and fake Indian Elizabeth Warren.

The Democrat Party, which calls itself the “party of diversity,” has decided that three old white guys and one female fake Indian are their best chance to beat President Donald Trump in November 2020.

“We are all about diversity,” the DNC Chairperson said. “That’s why four old white people best represent our interests and policies.

“Sure we had minority candidates like that Mayor Pete guy, Kamala Harris and Spartacus, but we think Biden, Sanders, Bloomberg and Warren are our strongest candidates,” he added, trying hard to have a straight face as he said that, referring to Pete Buttigieg and Senators Kamala Harris and Cory Booker.

The Democrat mouthpieces in the Left-wing Mainstream Media claim that it isn’t racist when the Democrats choose white candidates for President.

“The Republican Party is so racist they’re choosing Trump, a white man, for President once again,” MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough said on his program. “Just because Democrats have boiled it down to four old white folks doesn't make our party racist at all.”

The four Democrat candidates believe they should be the nomination, rallying their supporters.

“You like your doctor, your family, your children, your home, your job, your money, your guns, your cars, your air travel, your country, your borders, your military, your police, your fire department, your lifestyle and your life?” Sanders said. “Well, we’re gonna take it all away from you.”

“As Super Thursday gets underway today, I am proud to be your Democrat candidate for the U.S. Senate,” Biden told supporters. “We will remove Abraham Lincoln from office and deny him four more years in the White House.

“And if that doesn’t work, we will secede from the Union,” Biden added. 

“Why should people vote for me when I didn’t join in right away on the campaign trail?” Bloomberg told supporters. “Well, I have a lot of money. And I’m richer than Donald Trump. Much richer.”
“I already apologized for culturally-appropriating Native Americans for personal gain and a high-paying job, so go vote for me,” Warren said at a rally of her few supporters. “What? No, I won’t give back the money I made pretending to be Native American. And if you don’t vote for me, you’re racist and sexist.”

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