(Parody) Trump tests negative for coronavirus, U.S. Stocks soar

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 


President Donald Trump tested negative for coronavirus.

Trump announced on Friday he was taking the coronavirus test. The results came back negative on Saturday, showing that Trump hasn’t been infected with the coronavirus.

“The American people have a strong and healthy President.” Trump tweeted when he announced the news of his test. “They always have and they always will.”

Ordinary Americans were grateful that Trump hasn’t been infected with coronavirus.

And the Stock Market showed it.

Already, the Stock Market bounced back with a 10,000 point jump and continues to rise.

“Everyone was worried the world was gonna end with this whole coronavirus thing,” investor Robert Callaghan said. “But now that Trump hasn’t been affected by the virus, American consumers have more hope and confidence that life will once again return to normal.”

Despite the coronavirus outbreak, the U.S. economy and the lives of regular Americans are expected to keep getting better because Trump, America’s greatest leader since Ronald Reagan, hasn’t been infected with the Chinese Coronavirus.

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