(Parody) Joe Biden selects Rita Repulsa as his Vice President nominee

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 

Joe Biden, the presumptive Democrat nominee, has already promised to choose a woman for his Vice President.

The Biden Campaign announced that evil sorceress Rita Repulsa will be his Vice President.

“At last my evil plan is ready,” Repulsa said on a video chat with Biden and MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough. “First we will take over America, then we will destroy the Power Rangers.”

Repulsa has spent the last thirty years trying to the Power Rangers, a group consisting of five-six American teenagers.

She has not had any successes against the Power Rangers.

Biden was undeterred though and detailed his friendship with Repulsa.

“Rita and I go way back,” Biden said during a video chat with CNN’s Chris Cuomo. “Why, uh, we spent 10,000 years trapped together in a space dumpster with my buddies Corn Pop and Nelson Mandela. We talked about how we were going to send dog-faced pony soldiers to battle the Red Ranger and do push-up contests with that fat-head Zordon.”

Biden aides rushed to turn off the video feed, knowing that Millennials and young adults born in the 1980s and 1990s grew up hating Repulsa and her evil ways. 

Sadly for the Biden Campaign, the video kept playing and showed Biden committing more gaffes.

“First, we’re gonna challenge those fatsos Bulk and Skull to some push-ups contests and then send our dog-faced pony soldiers to whip those Power Rangers into shape,” Biden said during a video chat.

“Especially Tommy Oliver,” Biden added, referring to the White Ranger (formerly the Green Ranger). “He’s the kind of guy I’d take behind the school yard and beat up.”

President Donald Trump, the incumbent Republican President who will face off against Biden in the general election, welcomed the challenge a Biden-Repulsa ticket brings.

“Joe Biden is toast,” Trump tweeted. “Rita Repulsa can’t even beat five teenagers. They always managed to beat her and kill her monsters. There’s no way she stands a chance against me and Mike Pence.”

Trump then introduced the new MAGA Zord — a Power Ranger Zord wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat.

Trump also announced he is sending MAGA Power Coins (a golden coin with Trump’s face on one side and an eagle on the other side) to each conservative and Trump supporter for free, giving them more power to fight back against liberals’ attacks.

“Agh, I have a headache!” Repulsa said in agony before planting her palm on her forehead. “Why can’t I ever win?”

At publishing time, Zordan, Alpha and the Power Rangers officially endorsed President Donald Trump for re-election as President of the United States.

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