(Parody) Minneapolis City Council announces Ghostbusters will replace police officers

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 

Who you gonna call when the cops are defunded and you’re being attacked?

Apparently if you live in the Twin Cities, it’s the Ghostbusters.

The Minneapolis City Council plans to go forward with their plan to defund and abolish the Minneapolis Police Department, despite three city councilmembers hiring private security to protect themselves.

The Council announced that the Ghostbusters will patrol the streets and defend their citizens from all spectral-related crime.

“The only bad guys in our city will be dead guys — ghosts,” a Minneapolis City Councilwoman said in a CNN video interview. “Everyone knows all crime is committing by people possessed by ghosts and stuff. Ghostbusters are the only ones who can stop all the crime in this city — and anyone who says differently comes from a place of privilege.” 

The ghost-fighting squad left New York to escape that state’s high taxes and will make their residence in the Twin Cities.

The group has released an updated theme song of the same name:

“When there’s an angry mob,
In your neighborhood,
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!

When you see a prawler
Breaking in your home,
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!

When your city don’t care,
About fighting crime,
Who can you call?
Ghostbusters!

Other Democrat-controlled cities plan to follow Minneapolis’ lead and hire alternative “private security” to police their cities, despite rising crime rates in cities pushing to defund their police departments.