(Parody) Seattle PD plays “Everything is Awesome” to overpower CHOP occupants

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] 


Seattle officials and law enforcement (finally!) seized control of the city section controlled by the Capitol Hill Organized Protest (CHOP), formerly the Capital Hill Autonomous Zone (CHAZ).

The Seattle Police Department carried out their plan to retake the six city blocks that made up CHOP on Wednesday, July 1, after four people had died in separate shootings inside CHOP over the last week.

Handicapped by local Democrat leaders and senior police officials in Seattle, the Seattle men and women in blue had an ingenious way of driving out the left-wing protesters and anarchists occupying CHOP and seizing the area without firing a shot: playing “Everything is Awesome” on 24/7 repeat.

“Everything is Awesome” is the hit song from the animated film, “The LEGO Movie.” It is both loved and hated for its catchiness, lyrics and beat.

“Hearing ‘Everything is Awesome’ is cool every once in a while, but listening to it day and night back-to-back without end, that drives anyone mad,” a male Seattle Police Officer said. “It drove everyone inside CHOP nuts after the first fifteen minutes. They were just begging us to stop playing it.”

The song was played on loudspeakers set up around the CHOP zone in Seattle, loud enough for everyone inside CHOP and throughout the city to hear it.

Reports indicate that CHOP residents were curled up in the fetal position on the group as the cops marched in, their hands over their ears.

“Please, make it stop! It’s so annoying!” an agitated male CHOP resident said as “Everything is Awesome” played in the background, his hands covering his ears. “I hate this song!”

The Seattle Police did eventually stop playing “Everything is Awesome,” only to replace it with a repeat of “Let it Go” from the film, “Frozen” as they arrested the now-pacified agitators.

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