Nicholas Servi

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Actor Nicolas Cage enters the 2020 Presidential Election. He becomes the first Independent candidate to announce his candidacy. “I’ve already done a lot of crazy stuff throughout my life and acting career,” Cage said at a press conference outside his Malibu home, attended by his agent and several tourists off the street in double-decker buses. “From agreeing to do The Sorcerer’s Apprentice , to having CGI bees poured on my head in The Wicker Man , to trying out every different hairstyle imaginable in my films. I figured I might as well run for President.”  Members of the Democrat Party and the left-wing liberal media were immediately angry with Cage’s candidacy. “How dare Nicolas Cage do this,” Socialist dimwit Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said before ranting against Cage’s “w...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  After watching his team miss the NBA playoffs once again, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is looking to revitalize his team. That starts with hiring an entirely new lineup of five talented individuals from the Dallas area.  Leaks from NBA headquarters reveal that Mark Cuban offered contracts to all the guys from Dude Perfect to play on the Mavericks team. “I saw a couple of their ‘Trick Shots’ videos on YouTube and I realized that these guys have more talent at basketball or any other sport than the entire Mavericks bench does,” Cuban told reporters just before shooting scenes for a new episode of “Shark Tank.”  “I really want those guys on my team. We’d be unstoppable,” Cuban added.  While they are fans of Dallas-based sports teams, and have done videos ...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  In their continued crusade against cultural icons, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has filed a class-action lawsuit against the Scooby Doo Gang, also known as “Mystery Incorporated.”  The ACLU claimed that the four hipsters and their talking Great Dane dog violated the civil rights of monsters, ghouls, and other masked figures by investigating their haunting without a warrant, as well as lawfully arresting them in traps.  A spokesperson for the ACLU stated earlier today that the left-wing, anti-American lawyer haven is  “No one should impede a person’s right to put on a monster costume and terrorize normal Americans, especially not four meddling kids and that dog,” an ACLU spokesman said at a press release in Hollywood.  Wa...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  It’s here: Robert Mueller’s report showed no collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia during the 2016 Presidential Election.  Both sides dug in on where they stand for or against Trump, but one thing in the redacted report surprised both parties. Bob Mueller repeatedly sought an interview with President Trump over Alex Ovechkin, popular hockey player with the NHL’s Washington Capitals. “At first Mueller suspected Trump colluded with the Russian government to win the [2016 Presidential] election, but after a year and a half of finding no evidence of election meddling from his campaign, our focus shifted to collusion with the Capitals organization,” the Mueller Investigation Report read. “This led Mueller’s team to conclude that Trump had actually colluded to make sur...