Nicholas Servi

Yesterday, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced that the House of Representatives will begin an impeachment inquiry against President Donald Trump.  This announcement came after an unidentified whistleblower launched allegations against Trump concerning a phone call Trump had with the Ukrainian President back in July. However, earlier today, the Trump administration released the transcript of Trump’s July conversation with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. The transcript shows that Trump congratulated Zelensky on his election victory and had sought a probe into Joe Biden and his son Hunter’s dealings in Ukraine, after Joe Biden forced Ukraine to stop investigating Hunter when Biden was Vice President. President Trump did not threaten to withhold U.S. aid to Ukraine.  You can read the transcript here .  Even if the Democrat-controlled Congress votes to formally impeach Trump and bring charges against him, the Republican-contr...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Beto O’Rourke promises to steal guns and AR-15s from law-abiding American citizens. Andrew Yang promises to give everyone $1000 a week. Kamala Harris promises to keep hating Conservative Catholics. Julian Castro promises to keep hating America and dox ordinary Republicans who vote for President Donald Trump. Pete Buttigieg promises to spew hatred of Chick-Fil-A. Bernie Sanders promises to steal people’s individual identities and mold them into the Borg Collective. Sanders, in an effort to surpass Joe Biden and Elizabeth Warren in the Democrat polls, has promised to give away free Borg implants to Americans. “When I am elected president, every American will receive free Borg implants,” Sanders said. “Your consciousness will be molded into our Collective and the...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  The third 2019 Democratic Primary Debate saw a lot of highlights as the last ten Democrats running against President Trump took the stage Thursday night. Julian Castro said Joe Biden is too old to run for President, questioning Biden’s fitness to run. Biden forgot where he was and started talking about his days bringing the Ten Deadly Plagues to Egypt and freeing the Jews. Sen. Bernie Sander once again solidify himself as a radical left-wing Socialist who hates the United States. And Robeto O’Rourke made it clear he’s going to take away the guns and AR-15s of law-abiding Americans by force. But the real winners of the debate were Donald Trump and the American people, as Sen. Elizabeth Warren stood before her true followers — the evil forces oppressing Narnia. ABC broadc...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Ditka is back! After losing 10-3 at home to the Packers on Thursday night, the Chicago Bears have hired their legendary former head coach Mike Ditka to help save their season. “We are pleased to welcome back Mike Ditka to the Chicago Bears,” Bears Head Coach Mike Nagy said at a press conference Saturday. “I’m glad I have the chance to coach Mitch Trubisky and this Bears team with a legend.” Ditka’s official title is Special Assistant Head Coach. Several officials in the Bears organization decided to bring back Ditka after re-watching the comedy film “Kicking and Screaming (2005).” “Ditka has a lot to offer to our 2019 team,” a Chicago Bears representative said. “He’ll make the players run around during practice, wash his car, take out his trash and steal their candy bars.”...