Nicholas Servi

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Kansas City Chiefs fans push to make January 19 “Patrick Mahomes Day.” This comes as quarterback Patrick Mahomes led the Chiefs to their second straight AFC Championship Game, beating the Tennessee Titans 35-24 and winning the Lamar Hunt Trophy. The AFC Championship Trophy was named in honor of Lamar Hunt, who founded the Kansas City Chiefs and the old American Football League (which became the NFL’s American Football Conference).  The Chiefs will now play against the San Francisco 49ers in Super Bowl LIV on Feb. 2. It is the Chiefs’ first Super Bowl appearance in fifty years. “Patrick Mahomes has really stepped up as playmaker throughout his short career,” local chiefs fan and Kansas City native Dan Gallagher said. “He’s given us hope in our team and brought us to the Sup...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  President Donald Trump held a “Keep America Great” rally in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, on Tuesday, Jan. 14, as part of his 2020 Presidential Re-Election campaign. At the rally, Trump presented his “beatitudes” – The Americans he has helped since taking office after winning the 2016 Presidential Election. The Trump Beatitudes are as follows: “Blessed are the poor and middle class, For they receive tax breaks and better job opportunities under my presidency. “Blessed are the American soldiers, For they won’t be sent to fight endless wars.  “Blessed are those in MAGA hats, For they shall reveal the Left’s intolerance. “Blessed are the deplorables, For they denied Crooked Hillary the White House in 2016. “Blessed are they who are persecuted for supporting me, ...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Oscar season is upon us! The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced the nominations for the 2020 Oscars earlier today. 2019’s “Joker” and “Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood” are strong contenders, with “Joker” earning 11 nominations including Best Actor (Joaquin Phoenix) and Best Picture. One contender snubbed this Oscars season is Brie Larson’s portrayal of Captain Marvel in “Avengers: Endgame (2019).” The Marvel actress’ name was absent from the Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress categories for the 2020 Oscars. Larson’s reasoning behind the Oscars snub: Sexism. “There are too many sexists in Hollywood. That’s why they won’t nominate me,” Larson said to reporters. “If a man were a superhero, they wouldn’t be in this position. They’d win an Oscar...

Only Trump can get Democrats to side with Iranian terrorists.  The Democrat-controlled Congress passed a War Powers resolution yesterday against President Donald Trump. This measure was made in response to Trump ordering military action against Iranian Gen. Qassem Soleimani, the leader of Iran’s Revolutionary Guard Corps. Soleimani was killed in a U.S. drone strike on Thursday, January 2, at Baghdad International Airport. Both Democrats and Republicans had defections in the resolution vote. Democrats hope that the War Powers resolution will prevent Trump from ordering military actions against Iran, a clear attack against his authority as Commander-in-Chief of our military. The problem for Democrats is that the resolution passed in the House is a non-binding measure. It carries no weight of being enacted. Anyone in Congress can push forward a non-binding resolution to support or condemn anything.  The other fact going against ...