Nicholas Servi

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  In an effort to outdo the other 20-plus Democrats running for President in 2020, California Senator Kamala Harris (D) has already picked her Vice President. Harris announced at a Socialist rally in New York that left-wing Native American Activist Nathan Phillips is her Vice Presidential nominee. Phillips displays the one characteristic I look for in a Vice President: pure hatred of white male Catholics in America,” Harris said at a CNN town hall meeting attended by Know Nothings and other anti-Catholic, anti-conservative individuals.  Back in January, Harris claimed that a Catholic judicial nominee’s involvement in the Knights of Columbus barred him from public service.  Also in January, Phillips caused controversy for intentionally instigating hatred against th...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Actor Nicolas Cage enters the 2020 Presidential Election. He becomes the first Independent candidate to announce his candidacy. “I’ve already done a lot of crazy stuff throughout my life and acting career,” Cage said at a press conference outside his Malibu home, attended by his agent and several tourists off the street in double-decker buses. “From agreeing to do The Sorcerer’s Apprentice , to having CGI bees poured on my head in The Wicker Man , to trying out every different hairstyle imaginable in my films. I figured I might as well run for President.”  Members of the Democrat Party and the left-wing liberal media were immediately angry with Cage’s candidacy. “How dare Nicolas Cage do this,” Socialist dimwit Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said before ranting against Cage’s “w...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  After watching his team miss the NBA playoffs once again, Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is looking to revitalize his team. That starts with hiring an entirely new lineup of five talented individuals from the Dallas area.  Leaks from NBA headquarters reveal that Mark Cuban offered contracts to all the guys from Dude Perfect to play on the Mavericks team. “I saw a couple of their ‘Trick Shots’ videos on YouTube and I realized that these guys have more talent at basketball or any other sport than the entire Mavericks bench does,” Cuban told reporters just before shooting scenes for a new episode of “Shark Tank.”  “I really want those guys on my team. We’d be unstoppable,” Cuban added.  While they are fans of Dallas-based sports teams, and have done videos ...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  In their continued crusade against cultural icons, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) has filed a class-action lawsuit against the Scooby Doo Gang, also known as “Mystery Incorporated.”  The ACLU claimed that the four hipsters and their talking Great Dane dog violated the civil rights of monsters, ghouls, and other masked figures by investigating their haunting without a warrant, as well as lawfully arresting them in traps.  A spokesperson for the ACLU stated earlier today that the left-wing, anti-American lawyer haven is  “No one should impede a person’s right to put on a monster costume and terrorize normal Americans, especially not four meddling kids and that dog,” an ACLU spokesman said at a press release in Hollywood.  Wa...