Nicholas Servi

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  it is unclear who started the fight. Democrats say it was a Republican. Republicans say it was a Socialist Democrat. The result was the same: brawls erupting inside Congress. Hoping to encourage bipartisan “team-building exercises,” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi had everyone in congress watch “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End.” “We can learn a lot about modern politics by watching the third ‘Pirates’ movie,” Pelosi said. During the movie, the Pirate leaders—called the Brethren Court—started fighting each other over a political disagreement. Members of Congress followed the movie example (literally) and started a brawl that consumed the Legislative branch. “We’re just expressing how we really feel about people who hold different political views,” one congressmemb...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  After Ruth Bader Ginsburg was absent from the Supreme Court building while battling cancer chemo eelier this year, many in Washington and the media wondered if she would step down or die. “This is the first time RBG hasn’t heard cases inside the Supreme Court ever since she was appointed there in 1994,” a senior analyst said. “Or was it 1995. Or 1993. I can’t remember if Clinton or Bush put her on.” Ginsburg’s physical health scare was enough for President Donald Trump to come up with a contingency plan in case the oldest Justice on the Court died. Already, the GOP and Democrats believe Judge Amy Coney Barrett, a Catholic woman, will be tapped for the job. Now, President Donald Trump has announced his latest nominee pick to replace Ginsburg: conservative host Ben Shap...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Spider-Man is responsible for every bad thing that happens. That’s the opinion of one mainstream media icon. CNN invited J. Jonah Jameson onto their prime time shows.  Jameson, editor-in-chief and CEO of The Daily Bugle , received controversy for his company’s constant anti-Spider-Man articles and coverage.  “Spider-Man is a menace!” Jameson said to CNN host Chris Cuomo. “He’s responsible for terrorizing New York and for how divisive America is today.” Jameson was brought onto the show to discuss why conservatives don’t trust the mainstream media, believing that networks not named Fox News promote “fake news” when it comes to President Trump, but the discussion quickly turned into Jameson condemning the crime-fighting web-head.  “Spider-Man is responsible fo...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Football season is underway. Less than two weeks before the regular season starts. This year, the NFL will allow coaches to challenge pass interference. The NFL will allow has a new experimental rule this season, allowing teams to challenge pass interference penalty calls. This rule was enacted after a blown pass interference call wasn’t made during the 2019 NFC Championship Game between the New Orleans Saints and the Los Angeles Rams. NFL teams are taking full advantage of the new rule. Sources confirm that NFL teams will challenge pass interference calls made by referees. Each team has vowed to challenge pass interference calls every game this season, even if it is blatant pass interference. “We just really want to stick it to Roger Goodell and th...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  The cows are fighting back. After years of left-wing attacks against Chick-Fil-A, founded by a Christian who supports traditional marriage between a man and a woman, the Chick-Fil-A cows went on the offensive. Dozens of cows protested outside the U.S. Capitol Building, demanding an end to anti-cow hatred against chicken sandwich fast food chain. the cows, standing on their hind legs and carrying signs, demanded that lawmakers end attacks against the Georgia-based fast food chain. “Eet Mor Chikin!” One cow’s black and white sign said.  “Gayz h8 Cowz!” read the sign held by a second cow, a direct reference to the homosexual community’s blatant anti-cow bias against the fast food chain.  “Cow Livez Mater!” Another cow’s sign said.  Chick-Fil-A has re...