Nicholas Servi

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  WARNING: Spoiler alert for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker . House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Congressional Democrats condemn the Resistance for launching space strikes on the First Order. Specifically, the Democrat leaders opposed Resistance leaders Poe Dameron, Finn and Rey’s decision to launch a military attack against First Order forces in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, without seeking permission from the Democrat-controlled Congress. The Resistance, which is Disney’s version of the ragtag group known as the Rebel Alliance, are the protagonists in the Disney Star Wars Trilogy. The First Order, which rebranded itself as The Final Order in “The Rise of Skywalker” film, are the bad guys of the latest trilogy of “Star Wars” films. In the film, the Resistance launches...

President Donald Trump ordered U.S. airstrikes that killed Iranian General Qassem Soleimani early yesterday. The strike came when Soleimani was meeting Iraqi and Iranian-backed militia leaders at Baghdad International Airport. “Soleimani was responsible for killing hundreds of American troops and wounding thousands more,” Trump said as he gave a statement on the airstrikes. “His reign of terror is over. The monster is dead.” Many Democrats and the Mainstream Media condemned Trump’s decision to order Soleimani’s death, including 2020 Democrat candidates. “President Trump needs congressional approval before launching any military action,” Democrat House Speaker “Heresy” Nancy Pelosi said. “He has no authority as Commander-in-Chief to make such decisions.” “Trump is causing a mess that the next president will have to fix,” Democrat Mayor Pete Buttigieg said, referring to the airstrike that killed Soleimani. “ “Donald Trump is gonna start a war with Iran by ...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  President Donald Trump ordered airstrikes that killed Hydra’s founder and leader, Red Skull. Red Skull, who was in exile on the planet Vormir, was killed after getting off a spaceship at Baghdad International Airport to meet with other Hydra, Iraqi and Iranian military-terrorist leaders. The airstrikes were carried out earlier today by U.S. Air Force Colonel James Rhodes (aka War Machine) and a joint strike team of U.S. Air Force fighter jets and rockets launched from U.S. Navy ships in the Middle East. Red Skull was forbidden to travel outside Vormir after being forced to guard the Soul Stone. He was the military mastermind behind Hydra’s actions against the Allies in World War II and Hydra’s infiltration of S.H.I.E.L.D. The Nazi-backed terrorist organization...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Angered Americans storm the Iraqi Embassy to the United States. After Iranian-backed terrorists and their supporters attacked the American Embassy to Iraq in Baghdad on Tuesday, freedom-loving Americans responded in kind.  In retaliation for the blatant anti-American actions caused by the Iraqi people, ordinary Americans stormed the Iraqi Embassy to the U.S. and set fire to the Iraqi flag. They then raised an American flag over the embassy compound, essentially taking back American soil from Iraq. The Americans suffered no casualties or injuries at the hands of the easily demoralized and cowardly Iraqi “soldiers” guarding the embassy.  The Iraqis were no match for ordinary Americans armed with AR-15s and AK-47s. “Run, Iraq, run!” the demonstrators chanted outside ...