Nicholas Servi

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.] Murderers, terrorists and genocidal maniacs. That’s who Bernie Sanders wants to give voting rights to. The Vermont Socialist caused widespread criticism from conservatives last week after saying that Thanos, the Mad Titan, deserved to vote after wiping out half the universe. Sanders’ remarks come as the second round of 2020 Democratic Presidential Debates begin tonight in Detroit. He suggests that Thanos, the arch-nemesis of the Avengers, should be allowed to vote in U.S. elections. “Thanos is just a misunderstood purple alien,” Sanders said at a CNN town hall event. “He doesn’t deserve to be disenfranchised by an oppressive capitalist system in the United States. Who cares if he’s not a citizen?” The Mad Titan wiped out half of all sentient life in the universe after gathering all six Infinity St...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  With “The Rise of Skywalker” coming out in December, Disney wraps up the controversial “Sequel Trilogy.” Scientists, hoping to better understand what the future holds for “Star Wars,” interviewed dozens of people involved in Star Wars — from fans, to film production assistants to executives and filmmakers at LucasFilm and Disney.  They discovered that whatever opinion fans have about Star Wars is true, regardless of political or personal beliefs. “We really wanted to agree with everyone, so we didn’t disagree with anyone’s opinion during the studying process,” a spokesman for the scientists said. “If you think Disney just copied ‘A New Hope’ for ‘The Force Awakens,’ that is true.   If you believe or don’t believe that Star Wars Legends (Star Wars Expanded Universe)...

In a long run of Hollywood remakes and reboots, “The Matrix” is the latest franchise to get a reboot. 2020’s “The Matrix Rebooted” (because the “Matrix” series is getting a reboot) sees Keanu Reeves returning to the latest “Matrix” film, reprising his iconic role as Neo.  Joining Reeves are the 25 Democrats running for President against Donald Trump in 2020.  Unlike Reeves’ character, the Democrats overwhelming choose to take the blue pill and believe whatever they want about America. “Take the blue pill, and you’ll wake up tomorrow believing whatever you want about America, Donald Trump, conservatives and everyday Americans,” Laurence Fishburne’s Morpheus tells the Democrats when offering them a choice between fantasy and reality. “Take the red pill, and I’ll show you all the good things about America, Donald Trump, conservatives and everyday Americans.  “Socialism rocks!” Bernie Sanders said whe...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  With the live-action “Lion King” remake scheduled for release on July 19, Disney sends updates on their 243 other live-action film production projects in development.  Disney announced that their new live-action “Mulan” remake will be heavily pro-China.  “We are proud to work in conjunction with the People’s Republic of China in order to have our new ‘Mulan’ film reflect Chinese values into Western audiences,” Disney CEO Bob Iger told reporters on the set of “Mulan.”  The House of Mouse signed an agreement with the Chinese Communist Party so that any future Disney movie set in China must be approved by Beijing itself before it can start filming and be distributed. This now “Chinese” policy angered screenwriters, directors, producers ask conservative Americans a...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  After Game of Thrones fans signed an online petition back in May to make the showrunners rewrite GoT Season 8 , fans of another popular TV show decided to start their own online petition. Fans of AMC’s hit show The Walking Dead  started a petition on Change.org in order to force the producers to retcon the entire show after the events of TWD Season 4. “We want the show runners to listen to the fans,” the petition’s statement read. “We want them to focus on good filmmaking and storytelling and on characters we like — not on characters we hate.”  The following changes that TWD fans want on the show include, but are not limited to,  ·       Retconning the deaths of favorite characters   ·     ...