Nicholas Servi

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  It’s official. The far-left “Squad” of young Socialist Democrats will endorse Sen. Bernie Sanders’ candidacy for the Democrat nomination in the 2020 Presidential Election. This news comes after the Fourth Democrat Presidential Debate on Tuesday, Oct. 15. The “Squad,” as they are known — made up of Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC), Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib — are expected to make the announcement officially sometime soon. “We really wanted to appeal to young American voters, so we choose an old guy who hates America and wants to turn America into a Socialist country,” AOC told the press. Sanders believes he appeals to young Americans. “Why would people say I can’t appeal to young Americans because I’m old and a Socialist?” Sanders told reporters. “I can totally re...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Democrats and RINOs (Republican in name only) like bashing President Donald Trump. Recently, they accused Trump of being anti-American for withdrawing American troops from Syria and “abandoning” the Kurds against Turkey. “President Trump is immoral,” Democrat House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said. “He’s concerned with keeping Americans safe and not sending our young men and women to fight in foreign wars, especially new wars in the Middle East. “Of course I won’t send my own children and grandkids to fight in a war,” Pelosi added. “But definitely send Conservative young men and women.” But surprise, most Americans don’t want to fight another war. It’s why they elected Trump in the first place — because Trump promised not to get America involved in more ...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Focus on the Family announced they are making a live-action film reboot of the “Last Chance Detectives” series. “We are pleased to let your adulthood be visited by updated versions of your childhood classics,” focus on the family spokesman Benny Bakerson said. The new film is set ten years after the last TV movie in the series, “Escape from Fire Lake.” Christina actor Kirk Cameron was cast as a young adult version Mike Fowler, with Cameron reported being digitally altered (with the use of CGI) so that he looks like he’s 24 years old. “We wanted to make sure we got the best quality casting choices, so we went with Cameron in the lead role,” Bakerson said. “We believe he’s the go-to guy for We’re confident he won’t suck more than usual.” Actor Kevin Sorbo landed the covet...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Warning: Spoiler alert for “Jurassic World” and “Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom.” Dinosaurs are people, too. That’s the argument made by dino-rights activists. In the wake of the minor dinosaur infestation across the Western United States – numbering around two dozen dinosaurs at most (mostly herbivores) – the activists demand that the dinosaurs taken from Isla Nublar be given refugee status, including a blue-stripped female velociraptor named Blue. “These dinosaurs are intelligent creatures and they deserve the same rights and protections we Americans have,” activist Claire Dearing said. “It doesn’t matter that these same dinosaurs tried eating me twice now.” Dearing was the former operations manager of Jurassic World during the Indominus Rex Incident in ...