Nicholas Servi

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Well, the 2019 Academy Award nominations are in. Aside from the self-described “diverse” superhero movie “Black Panther (2018),” films that ordinary Americans actually saw in theaters were entirely absent in the Best Picture, Best Actor/Actress, and Best Adapted/Original Screenplay categories.  As is typical with liberal Hollywood, popular movies like “A Quiet Place” and superhero movies got snubbed in all the major categories. One noticeable snub from the Best Actor competition is Thanos, the purple-skinned Mad Titan and the real star of “Avengers: Infinity War (2018).”  “I should have been the front runner at this year’s Oscars,” Thanos said. “My performance set the bar not just for Marvel villains, but all comic book villains going forward. I d...

Pope Benedict XVI is famous for saying: “The World promises you comfort, but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.” My alma mater, Benedictine College in Atchison, Kansas, was inspired by the Pope’s words so much that the theme for one of my academic years was “Made for Greatness.” In his second State of the Union Address to a join session of Congress, President Trump’s message was about greatness. American greatness.  The President opened his speech by discussing the American victory in World War II, when in June 1944, D-Day, American soldiers launched a land, air, and sea invasion of Nazi-occupied Europe in order to achieve victory.  President Trump continued by stating that fifty years ago, in 1969, the United States became the first and only country to land men on the Moon. He then introduced Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk on the Moon, to the audience. He continued with how strong the American economy ha...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  After fighting with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-California) during the longest partial government shutdown in U.S. history, President Donald Trump will finally get to deliver his State of the Union address in front of a Democrat-controlled Congress. The State of the Union Address will be given by Trump on Tuesday, February 5. It was originally scheduled for Tuesday, January 29, was canceled after Pelosi refused to have Trump speak in the House Chamber – even though she sent him an invitation on January 3.  The speech, which is President Trump’s second State of the Union address, will discuss everything great about American and the accomplishments Trump has made since taking office.  A special guest star will be in attendance at this year’s State of the Union, when Pr...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  After weeks of speculation, President Donald Trump has finally done it. He’s declared a national emergency to deal with a crisis. President Trump addressed the country form the Rose Garden saying that he has declared a national emergency to deal with the “humanitarian crisis” in the Midwest as a polar vortex hits the entire Midwest this week. “This storm is a threat to the American people. Temperatures are so severe that you can freeze to death just by walking to your car,” President Trump said. “I ran for President on the platform to protect the lives and interests of the American people, and I am well within my rights as President of the United States by declaring a national emergency to deal with this crisis.” Throughout this week, Strong wind-chills from the vortex caused temper...