Nicholas Servi

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Liberals in the media and in Washington, D.C. are praising Darth Vader, second-in-command of the Galactic Empire, for his initiative in combating the spread of diseases on Alderaan. “The Empire is pleased to inform the Galaxy that we have successfully eliminated all new cases of deadly diseases on Alderaan by blowing up the entire planet,” Darth Vader told reporters on the observation deck of the Death Star, the Empire’s new super weapon and virus-killer. Vader touted the measures the Empire took to stop the spread of Alderaan viruses.  Vader was then asked if reporters and leaders from Earth could come to the Empire and see how the Alderaan people are returning to their normal lives now that the viruses are destroyed.  “Oh, umm, we put them on other planets inside our Empire, free from any i...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  The streaming war continues. After Netflix launched their live-action TV show, “The Witcher,” based on the video game franchise of the same name, other streaming services are creating their own action-adventure/fantasy shows. HBO’s “The Last of Us” show, based on the video game franchise of the same name, will be released on HBO’s streaming service in 2021. Now, Amazon Prime is entering the fray with their new live-action tv show, “Skyrim.” The series is based on “The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim” video game. Amazon was inspired by the live-action trailers for the “Skyrim” video game and decided to take the next step with an original TV show. The filmmakers revealed that the “Skyrim” show will take place right after the events in “Skyrim,” picking up where the Skyrim Civil War storyline left off. “I mean, y...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Pope Francis called on Catholics around the world to pray the rosary together in order to fight the Chinese coronavirus. The rosary took place at 4pm ET (U.S.) on Thursday, March 19, the Feast Day of St. Joseph. “This pandemic is a time for the faithful to come together and work together to stop the spread of the coronavirus,” Pope Francis stated. “We must invoke the protection of our Blessed Mother (Mary) through our thoughts and prayers.” Democrats and liberal media hosts condemned the Pope for invoking “thoughts and prayers” in the face of a crisis — whether it’s a mass shooting or a pandemic. “People are dying and Pope Francis encourages people to give their thoughts and prayers,” Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said. “The Pope is a fascist employed by the NRA and pharmaceutical corporations.” Democrat Ho...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Weather temperatures continue to rise across the United States.  Soon Americans will experience cool-to-warm spring and hot summer weather. With the warmer weather comes the possibility that the coronavirus will die down and life will return to normal (since viruses generally don’t do well in warm or hot weather). However, Democrats are continuing their push to ruin the lives of regular Americans. Joe Biden, who is leading the Democrat Primary for President, renewed his call for gun control. Unsatisfied with going after AR-15s and other assault rifles that regular Americans use for hunting, sport, entertainment or fun, the Democrat frontrunner has tasked failed Democrat Presidential candidate Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke to go after people’s water guns. “If I’m elected President, I will put Beto i...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  President Donald Trump tested negative for coronavirus. Trump announced on Friday he was taking the coronavirus test. The results came back negative on Saturday, showing that Trump hasn’t been infected with the coronavirus. “The American people have a strong and healthy President.” Trump tweeted when he announced the news of his test. “They always have and they always will.” Ordinary Americans were grateful that Trump hasn’t been infected with coronavirus. And the Stock Market showed it. Already, the Stock Market bounced back with a 10,000 point jump and continues to rise. “Everyone was worried the world was gonna end with this whole coronavirus thing,” investor Robert Callaghan said. “But now that Trump hasn’t been affected by the virus, American consumers have more hope and confidence that life will on...

The Dow plunged another 2,000 points today.  This news comes after President Donald Trump said that the United States will restrict travel from Europe to the U.S. for the next 30 days in his address to the nation last night in the Oval Office.  Trump said this measure was made to help limit the spread of the coronavirus, which has infected tens of thousands of people in Europe, especially Italy.  Travel from the U.K. to the U.S. will not be affected by the 30-day travel restrictions. At the time of this publication, the coronavirus, which originated in the Wuhan Province of China, has infected 118,332 people with 4,290 deaths worldwide as of yesterday, according to Fox News , Only 1,100 of those cases have occurred in the U.S., with 30 U.S. deaths. The Stock Market numbers have fallen due to coronavirus and the impact the virus has had on travel and business. Sports organizations like the NBA, NHL and MLB have also postponed or canceled their seasons...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Joe Biden has committed another gaffe. Biden, who once again became the Democrat frontrunner on Super Tuesday after all the so-called less radical (aka “moderate”) Democrats left the race, tried to capitalize on his growing lead over Socialist Senator Bernie Sanders. Hoping to outdo Bernie Sanders’ promise to abolish ICE, Biden declared he’s going after another government organization that specializes in arresting and deporting criminal aliens. “When I’m President, I will abolish the Men in Black on my first day in office,” Biden told a crowd of a handful of supporters. The Men in Black, “MiB” for short, is a fictional government organization that monitors and polices extraterrestrial (alien) activity on Earth. They are featured in the film franchise of the same name led by Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jon...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Kansas Democratic Governor Laura Kelly is dead! A farmhouse carrying poor little Dorothy accidentally fell on top of Kelly outside the Governor’s Mansion in Topeka, Kansas. Kelly, a Democrat with strong high taxes, anti-life and pro-Planned Parenthood beliefs, had been terrorizing ordinary Kansans and unborn babies since her election during the 2018 Midterm Elections. Her reign of terror culminated with the staunchly far-left Kansas Supreme Court ruling that there was a “constitutional right” to abortion in the Kansas Constitution. (It is unclear if the Kansas Supreme Court follows the Lecompton Constitution, which was one written by pro-slavery forces in the 1850s, as the official State Constitution of Kansas.) Kelly’s policies and the decision made by her cronies on the Kansas Supreme Court a...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  And then there were four. Democrat presidential candidates make their final pitch to voters as Super Tuesday gets underway. What was once a vast field of 564 candidates is now down to four: Socialist Bernie Sanders, gaffe-prone Joe Biden, elitist Mike Bloomberg and fake Indian Elizabeth Warren. The Democrat Party, which calls itself the “party of diversity,” has decided that three old white guys and one female fake Indian are their best chance to beat President Donald Trump in November 2020. “We are all about diversity,” the DNC Chairperson said. “That’s why four old white people best represent our interests and policies. “Sure we had minority candidates like that Mayor Pete guy, Kamala Harris and Spartacus, but we think Biden, Sanders, Bloomberg and Warren are our strongest candidates,” he added, tryi...