Nicholas Servi

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  The U.S. Women’s Soccer Team filed a lawsuit against the U.S. Soccer Federation. The women’s squad claims that the U.S. Soccer organization discriminated against the women’s team by paying them less than the U.S. Men’s Soccer Team — even though men’s soccer draws more crowds and profits than women’s soccer does, and men’s sports are general more physical and tougher than women’s sports. “We want to make sure women are treated equally as men,” U.S. Women’s Soccer Captain Megan Rapinoe said. “We believe all women deserve the chance to succeed.” The U.S. Women’s Soccer Team’s position also now applies to trans-athletes and other members of the LGBTQ-etcetera-etcetera Community. U.S. Soccer Federation announced that the entire U.S. Women’s Soccer Team will replaced with transgender athletes after This news...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  With the Iowa Caucus, New Hampshire Primary and Nevada Caucus completed (except the Democrats still don’t know who won Iowa), it is time to look back at the Democrats who failed to win their party’s nomination. Here are some notable failed 2020 Democrat candidates who have dropped out of the race: Kathleen Kennedy Pro: Woman in authority. Con: Ruined Star Wars for all real Star Wars fans. Nicolas Cage Pro: He was crazy enough to run . Con: He never stood a chance. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson Pro: Likeable guy, charming personality and most popular Democrat candidate . Con: Too busy making movies. The Duffer Brothers Pro: Created Stranger Things . Con: Stole the idea for Strangers Things .  James Comey  Pro: He’s really tall.  Con: He thinks he’s mo...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Social commentary in movies isn’t new. Sometimes it is necessary. Most of the time, it ruins the film. (Like “The Last Jedi.”) Animated movies aren’t immune to this. And it isn’t just Disney animated films. Other studios have continued putting social commentary in movies for years, long before President Donald Trump took office and political messages in films became more obvious. Here’s a list of social commentary in animated films. Some of these movies I actually like, so this list is just for comedy purposes only. The Land Before Time franchise — Evolutionist propaganda. An American Tale (1986) — Russians (in this case, Russian mice) are the good guys, so you know this film was written by “Russian bots” working for Putin. Balto (1995) — Clearly an allegory for the relationship between India...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  A terrorist threat was made against San Francisco. A video has been circulating on YouTube and social media platforms that Democrats claim is credible evidence of President Trump inspiring violence against liberal cities. In the video, an American general, identifying himself as Marine Brigadier General Francis X. Hummel, says he has lethal “VX Gas” weapons aimed at San Francisco and that he will launch them if his demands are not met. “There’s a crazed military general threatening to launch chemical weapons on San Francisco, my city,” Pelosi told reporters on Capitol Hill. “Clearly, President Trump is responsible for this.” Pelosi then showed video of Hummel telling FBI and U.S. Military leaders that if they don’t give him millions of dollars, he will launch chemical weapons on Downtown San Francisco...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Mayor Pete already has a Vice President. Hoping to get an edge over his opponents (and save his presidential campaign), Buttigieg announced comedian Kevin Hart as his Vice President nominee. “Kevin [Hart] is a great guy,” Buttigieg told reporters after the Democrat Debate in Nevada Wednesday night. “He’s smart, funny and has a great personality. Have you seen ‘Central Intelligence’ or the ‘Jumanji’ films? Golly, I love that guy.” Reporters asked Buttigieg if choosing a Vice President was a desperation move considering Buttigieg hasn’t won the Democrat nomination — and most likely didn’t win the Iowa Caucus as the Democrat Establishment would like us to believe. “Great question. I think the important thing here is that I actually picked a Vice President who appeals to people outside the Gay Community,” Bu...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Ape Mountain, Africa — George of the Jungle is hit with a lawsuit. The King of the Jungle was attacked by radical environmentalists who blame George for hurting the trees that he keeps running into — leaving an imprint of his body (with outstretched arms and legs) on the trees’ trunks. “George is a tree killer,” environmentalist Dean Underside told reporters. “He is obviously employed by a big logging corporation to slam into trees so that they’re deemed not safe, leaving them open for cutting down.” George, a king of an African jungle and the title character in the “George of the Jungle” movies, can’t seem to catch a break when it comes to hitting trees, despite his best efforts.  “George don’t mean to hurt trees and leave his likeness on them,” George told reporters outside an American courthouse ...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Canadian citizens have reportedly flocked to Justin Theroux on his filming trips to Canada.  “Alright, Justin Theroux will come out and walk across this street,” a producer said during one of these instances.   “Look, there’s the Prime Minister!” a Canadian bystander said after hearing Theroux’s name. “He’s over here!” Dozens of Canadians ran to get a glimpse of Theroux, believing that he is their prime minster. The incidents in question resulted from Theroux, an American actor, sharing a similar name with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. Trudeau, a prominent progressive and global elitist, has become a controversial figure for his anti-American, anti-Trump and pro-political correctness views. A side-by-side photo comparison of Theroux and Trudeau revealed that the two me...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Lt. Col. Alex Vindman and EU Ambassador Gordon Sondland were fired last week. Vindman and Sondland testified against President Donald Trump during the Trump impeachment trial. Vindman, who was part of the National Security Council (NSC) team, also likely leaked Trump’s July 2019 phone call with the Ukrainian President to the CIA whistleblower who started the Trump impeachment trial in the first place. Vindman was escorted out of the White House after his firing was announced. The disgraced intelligence official didn’t wait long for a new job. Sources confirmed that Vindman has accepted a role as part of Kylo Ren’s Intelligence Council in the First Order. “What can I say?” Vindman told reporters. “I traded one evil empire for another.” It was obvious that Vindman was referring to President Trump and his a...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Hollywood has lost all originality. Every year, sequels and remakes of original films are hitting theaters. Now, “Citizen Kane” is getting the remake treatment. The original 1941 Orson Welles’ film featured a character similar in character and biography to newspaper mogul William Randolph Herst. Herst, seeing the similarities between himself and Welles’ title character, Charles Foster Kane, both positive and negative, used his power and influence to undermine “Citizen Kane’s” performance at the box office and the Academy Awards. “Citizen Bomberg” is a modern day retelling of Welles’ original film. It features a news media mogul modeled after real-life billionaire and news mogul Michael Bloomberg. In the film, Bomberg runs for mayor of New York City, then later runs for President. He enacts policies to fa...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Surprise, surprise! The deadly Coronavirus is spreading rapidly around the world. The United Nations declared Coronavirus a global emergency, so you can totally trust their credibility. (Unless you are American, then just ignore whatever the U.N. says.) President Trump and the United States Health and Human Services (HHS) Department declared a public health emergency in order to combat the spread of Coronavirus in the United States, so you know that you stand a better chance of not getting it if you didn’t travel to China (or planned to). It is unclear when, how, or if the Coronavirus outbreak will be contained or destroyed. Should we be surprised? One author has already predicted how this story will end. Author Max Brooks presents an oral history of how the zombie apocalypse happened in his book, ...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  Catholic and Christian troops in the Boy Scouts of America condemned Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Utah) voting to convict President Donald Trump. (I refuse to call the Boy Scouts “Scouting BSA” because I don’t agree with the current leadership of the Boy Scouts organization destroying the traditional values of the Boy Scouts. They will always be called the Boy Scouts.) The male and female Scout leaders, mostly parents of boys in the troops, believe Romney has betrayed the Scout Oath and his honor as an Eagle Scout — and as a Republican. “We strongly disagree with Mitt Romney and his hatred of President Donald Trump,” the coalition group of Catholic and Christian Boy Scout Tripp’s wrote in a statement. “He has slammed Trump since 2016 and his behavior doesn’t represent Scouting or the honor of Eagle Scout.” The ...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  They say revenge is sweet. For Mitch McConnell, Senate Republicans and Trump supporters, it was personal. Republican Senate Majority Leader ripped up the two impeachment articles against President Donald Trump. McConnell’s actions came after the Senate voted to acquit Trump of both impeachment articles. The Senate voted 52-48 against the abuse of power article and 53-47 against the obstruction of Congress article. All Republicans, except for Utah Sen. Mitt Romney (a RINO – “Republican in name only”), voted against both articles of impeachment. Romney voted to convict Trump on the abuse of power article. All Democrats voted for both articles and to convict Trump. After President Trump was acquitted of both impeachment articles, McConnell, standing on the Senate floor, he...

[Disclaimer: This article is a parody story. While some events in this article are actually taking place, it is written for comedy purposes and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.]  The Kansas City Chiefs are Super Bowl Champions! The Chiefs defeated the San Francisco 49ers by a score of 31-20 in Super Bowl LIV. They will now meet the President of the United States.   The Chiefs organization accepted an invitation from President Donald Trump to visit the White House for a celebration event honoring their first Super Bowl victory in 50 Years, their second in franchise history. The team immediately received harsh criticism from liberal figures in sports and politics who believe everything should be a political statement against Trump. “The Chiefs have a chance to stick it to this dumb President and his dumb supporters and policies,” ESPN Host Stephen A. Smith said. “I mean, they’re just emboldening him with these dumb celebr...